


Who is the Fairest?

by ThreeHats



Category: Cthulhu Mythos - Fandom, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 15:32:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6334528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeHats/pseuds/ThreeHats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Welsey meets with an Eldritch Horror, and finds himself with more questions than he can answer... Namely, was he more beautiful than it?  All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who is the Fairest?

All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.

 **Characters:** Wesley Crusher, Cthulhu  
 **Location:** Apple Orchard  
 **Scenario:** Beauty contest

 

The sun shone brightly over the apple orchard that morning as Wesley Crusher stared down the giant beast Cthulhu. It was absolutely impossible to imagine that this beast would think he was more beautiful than Wesley?! Preposterous. This game had started so strangely as well, Wesley began to reflect on how he had come to be in such an odd situation. For the majority of the morning, he had been whining about picking apples in the apple orchard. The trees were so tall, he had to climb up some of them or use a ladder just to get to them and to top it all off, it was so damn hot out! He wasn’t sure why he was the one who was being forced to do this anyway! Why was he the one slaving away with the apples while everyone else got to have a good time!? He had scoffed and shook his head, continuing on the way. 

It was then that the ground had shook and as Wesley turned his head, he noticed that a giant creature loomed overhead. He stayed silent, his whole body trembling, not wanting to be noticed by the large monster…but it was far too late for that.

“WHO ARE YOU,” he boomed, leaning down to look at the tiny man.

“M-My name is Wesley Crusher…and I…was just picking some apples, please don’t kill me!” he whined, putting his hands up in total fright. “W-what are you doing here!?” he asked back, immediately regretting the words that escaped from his mouth. The creatures strange tentacles flailing about his steps smashing trees as it walked.

 

“I AM JUST HERE TO PICK SOME APPLES! THIS ORCHARD HAS THE FRESHESt APPLES!” it boomed. It leaned down and picked up a tree, shoving the whole tree in his mouth.

“W-What are you?!” he panicked, again speaking without meaning to.

“WHAT AM I? WHAT. AM. I?” The creature boomed, his strange tentacles flailing about. “I AM CTHULHU! THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CREATURE IN ALL THE LAND!” he called out. 

“Most beautiful creature in all the land? I dunno you’re pretty ugly,” Wesley said rather bluntly. “Who decided that you were the most beautiful?” he asked, feeling very confused. Cthulhu was in complete shock, did this tiny small man really dare to defy his word!? Did he really think that there was something more beautiful out there than Cthulhu himself?! 

“HOW DARE YOU!” it boomed and stared down at Wesley. “IF NOT I THEN WHO IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL!?” 

And this was how they had ended up in the never ended debate of who was prettier, Wesley Crusher or Cthulhu! Wesley had proceeded to whine that he certainly was prettier than ugly world destroying tentacle monster…because he looked…well normal, but Cthulhu kept arguing that his uniqueness was what made him so incredibly special. It had turned into a never ending argument. Neither one was willing to cave, though Wesley knew he wasn’t the most attractive person..he knew he was certainly prettier than Cthulhu!! 

As they argued back and forth, Cthulhu posed in many different ways, trying to convince the boy that he was certainly the most attractive one, and as he did he destroyed many apple trees in the process. Wesley refused to do any sort of poses saying that there was no reason for him to pose when the human body, though strange as well, was certainly more pretty than whatever those strange poses Cthulhu was doing were. 

With every pose and argument back and forth Cthulhu grew more and more tired of Wesley’s incessant whining and obnoxious comments about his body…Cthulhu was DONE with this argument. So instead…he picked Wesley up and ate him. Cthulhu made on his merry way, eating apple trees and causing the world to shake with every step, happy knowing he was certainly the most beautiful creature in the world.


End file.
